Summer

I was looking forward to this summer, I was hoping to be involved in everything, to see everyone, go everywhere, I know dreams may not come true exactly the way you planned, but I really haven't gone anywhere, seen anyone outside of my school and met anyone new.

I wanted to make friends with people that didnt go to my school, ones that lives close enough to come over and hang out, female or male, I was looking forward to it. I was looking forward to showing up at the skating rank where all f my "Friends" Hang out, because I wanted to go with my friends, my real friends. Not ones who only every talk to you because their sad, or they have problems. No ones ever really been there. No one that lives close begs me to come over, begs me to go to the mall with them.

I am tired of starting the conversation and cahsing everyone down, for once, I want someone to chase me down.
I just want to feel important to someone.

And really, thats the only problem I have. Is people accepting me, wanting to be with me, where it didnt matter where. just that i was there. I want them to look at me and think, she can make life out of anything the throws herself into.

I have done somethings this summer that normal teenagers do but dont usually have the guts. And I'm proud of that, I just wish I could share it with someone close. Not thirty to two hours away. Someone in a 5 minute walk radius. I've thought about wanting to move, to make new friends with neighbors to i can slip into their window one night. It would be fun. It would be a story.

But I guess I just have to wait. Things come to people who arn't expecting it.

I'm never usually upset, i just had to get that off my chest.

~Apricot